What's in store for me while I'm on bedrest?

When you are sent to bed, you may feel exiled from the world. Even if you greet the news with some pleasure (now you can finally catch up on all the reading and movies you never seem to have time for), the realities of bed confinement will soon hit home.

On bedrest you give up much more than your normal schedule. You need to devise new ways to connect with family members, take care of household chores, and stay in touch with your profession. You need to consider how bedrest affects your marriage or partnership, your relationship with your children, and even your personal vision of yourself during this time.

If you're facing a long bedrest, try to prepare yourself emotionally. Expect your feelings to swing from denial and shock to depression and panic to enjoyable, bright expectations. You may also find yourself thinking back to your early pregnancy and wondering what you did to end up on bedrest. (The answer: nothing. It's not your fault.) Be assured, these thoughts and feelings are absolutely normal.

Remind yourself and others around you of your ultimate goal — a full-term baby. This will help minimize the worry, anger, frustration, and boredom that often come with bedrest. Remember, you are free from some of the physical and emotional stresses you may face in a typical day -— and so is your baby.

How can I prepare for being on bedrest?

Realize that you have a great deal of control over the days and weeks ahead. First, prepare and organize yourself. This will make all the changes you're facing, both in your personal outlook and your relationships, much easier to manage. Use your imagination to stretch beyond the edge of your bed.

• Find out exactly which activities are allowed and which are not, then make plans accordingly. (See Questions For Your Provider.) For example, if you can sit up in bed, you may be able to telecommute to your job.

• Think about what you'll need each day and ask your partner and friends to help set you up in the morning. You'll feel much more independent if you have a bedside cooler packed with a lunch, snacks, and beverages.

• Move the telephone within reach, and consider putting the TV and VCR into your room as well. You can catch up on all those movies and documentaries you've never had time for.

• Make sure you have interesting books and magazines at hand, along with a notebook and pen. Now may be your last chance in a long time to catch up on your reading. If friends ask how they can help, suggest they bring books to share with you.

How can I maintain some normalcy in my life while on bedrest?

Creating a structure for each day will replace the sense of endless waiting and help the time pass. Start by making a daily list of activities and tasks. During your time in bed you can do the following:

• Check into medical coverage — for yourself and the baby.

• Figure out ways to let family and friends help if they've offered. Keep a list of chores you'd feel comfortable asking them to do and know that most people are probably much more eager to help than you imagine. Let them know which meals are your favorites.

• Create a calendar that shows who has offered to help on which days. Knowing you have someone's help or some event to anticipate will minimize stretches without help or company.

• Stick with your usual routine as much as possible. If you normally wear makeup, for example, continue wearing it. It will make you feel better. Keep regular times for activities, visits, and naps.

• Build in some fun. Rent movies, invite friends over for a Friday night video and pizza party in your bedroom, pull out the old board games. Let yourself have a good time.